Viktor Frankl, the noted neurologist and psychologist, said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” So I want to encourage you to take the time to make that happen, to choose your attitude and your “own way,” and generally avoid snap or impulsive choices. The importance of this is made apparent by the fact that subconsciously we can create barriers to reaching the best version of ourselves. We create those obstacles by being impulsive and reactive and by ignoring what we can learn by using our emotional intelligence skills.

Many consider the terms “emotions” and “feelings” to be interchangeable. However, there is a massive difference between them. Recognizing the difference is crucial for increasing your own level of emotional intelligence and understanding that a person’s demonstrated feelings are not always indicative of who they are as a person.

You're not alone if you didn't realize there is a critical difference between emotions and feelings. Although emotional intelligence is talked about more today, our traditional education rarely touches on the importance of understanding emotions and feelings. Some enlightened businesses and institutions are educating themselves and their people on how feelings influence your identity at work. Dissonance between your raw emotions and your processed feelings can lead to anxiety, depression and even the loss of identity. If you've ever felt that you're not being true to yourself, consider exploring the world of your emotions and how you interpret them as feelings.

In good literature, there is always conflict. Sometimes the conflict is direct (i.e., a husband and wife are fighting about where to go for vacation) and sometimes it is less so (i.e., a man is struggling with his inner demons). But no matter the particulars, in order for there to be a good story, the protagonist must face challenges. Here’s another way of putting it: There must be drama.

However, what is necessary in good literature is often a problem in real life. Most of us would rather have as little drama as possible. One of the ways you can reduce the amount of drama in your professional life is through the use of emotional intelligence. Not only will acting in an emotionally intelligent way reduce the amount of drama, but it will also make you a more effective, engaging and successful leader.

According to Herbert Simon, American Nobel Laureate scientist, “In order to have anything like a complete theory of human rationality, we have to understand what role emotion plays in it.”

As Dr. Simon and others have pointed out, emotions influence, skew or sometimes completely determine the outcome of a large number of decisions we are confronted with in a day. Therefore, it behooves all of us who want to make the best, most objective decisions to know all we can about emotions and their effect on our decision-making.

But, just in case you’re not sold on what I and Dr. Simon say, and you continue to believe you can make decisions free of emotional bias, let’s look at how emotions are formed and how they are transformed into actionable feelings.

Have you heard of the classic victim versus victor mindset? If you haven’t, you need to. This mental attitude consists of two separate and opposite mindsets, recognition of which can help you attain your goals and feel fulfilled in your personal and professional lives.

Having a classic victor inclination helps you create an easy integration of your work-lifestyle balance and reinforce a positive outlook in life. On the other hand, having a classic victim disposition creates a negative outlook on life and deepens your work-lifestyle imbalance. Recognizing these two different mindsets will help you focus on the internal work needed to quit making excuses and look for extrinsic motivations. If you’re feeling out of balance and unfulfilled, it may be your fault.

Dr. Carol S. Dweck, pioneer in the study of fixed versus growth mindsets, demonstrated that in predicting success, it doesn't matter whether someone is gifted or not. What matters is a person’s belief that they can succeed and prevail.

The person who doesn’t succeed is often blocked by a fixed mindset — that is, a mindset that assumes abilities and talents are given, limited and minimally subject to improvement. This person believes they were born with certain qualities, both positive and negative, and that they are largely fixed throughout life. While they usually recognize the value of training and education, when it comes to raising their horizons and imagining a bold and strikingly different future, it’s often just beyond them.

This article is about the multiple intelligence theory (MI), and the reason I write about it is simple. It’s because I am convinced that by knowing about MI and identifying your primary intelligence, you can discover your full potential and significantly improve your happiness. By being connected to the most effective path to your own realization, you can better and more effectively focus your attention and energies. You can learn, you can grow, and you can accomplish more overall. You can become a fulfilled individual.